My MLB New Year’s Wishes

2019 and a new MLB season is rapidly approaching, so I have decided to share my MLB hopes and dreams for the coming year (some more realistic than others).

• Cubs win the World Series (again)
• Jon Lester Cy Young campaign
• Pedro Strop wins Reliever of the Year
• Expected Cubs TV deal with right-wing media outlet Sinclair Broadcasting is #fakenews
• MLB deletes @Cut4 from Twitter
• Cubs bypass pursuit of Bryce Harper in favor of Manny Machado (and sign him, of course!), Harper joins the White Sox
• Shohei Ohtani leads the Angels to an AL West title, Astros lose the Wild Card Game
• Josh Hader retires from baseball and deletes his Twitter account, never to be heard from again (fuck the Brewers!)
• The US government does not interfere with MLB’s agreement with the Federación Cubana de Béisbol (Cuban Baseball Federation) regarding posting Cuban players, despite Florida Republican Senator Marco Rubio’s complaints
• Rogers Centre gets some decent food options in the nosebleed seats
• Mets get new owners who do not use pyramid schemes as a revenue source
• Noted trash monster Curt Schilling is not elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame
• Cubs fan favorite Dexter Fowler returns to the North Side in a wild five-way trade
• Blue Jays finish with a winning record thanks to Vlad Guerrero Jr.

Please comment with your own MLB New Year’s wishes!